When it seems All who were most important to you have turned against you, what do you do?
You quickly find out who your real friends are, including family.
You are starting over. Who is in your village?
Who really cares about you? Who Believes the best about you instead of the worst.
Who, even in a smear campaign, knows that is not you? Who knows your real heart and character and won’t allow lies to question who you are because they know you at your core. They know your heart and see your soul.
It doesn’t matter what someone else thinks – as long as a man/woman knows who he is inside.
The problem is if you are questioning who you are inside. Emotional abuse is the worst because it makes you think your the crazy one and it does affect your health. You don’t know who you are inside. You question everything, doubting yourself and everything you know to be true. Despite the evidence that you are not the crazy one. Yes you made mistakes, we all do, but that doesn’t make you crazy.
You need to look forward and not back. Stop beating yourself up and move on. Love is patient and kind. Love is forgiving. Those who are not willing to forgive and only remember the bad are pathological, behavior wise. That is not healthy or balanced to remember only bad and say there was no good.
Not allowing for change through the years is not balanced or healthy either. We all change, hopefully for the better through the years. A narcissist will get worse but most of us get better if we are trying to learn and grow.
Decide who is in your village and block out the rest. You don’t need the venom of toxic people being poured out at you each day. Surround yourself with positive, uplifting people. Build a new village. Join new clubs or activities that you truly enjoy or want to try out. Don’t follow or check up on the toxic people in your life, on FB or other ways. Resist that urge and let them go. Move on. Think of the future not even the present. Evaluate what you want in life. If your a Christian, seek what the Lord wants you to do next. We may not know the big picture but we can do what we know we need to do today and maybe tomorrow.
Listen to the desires of your heart. Not revenge etc. but where the Lord is leading. If you no longer have passion to do what your doing then what is it you would like to do? Where do you feel the Lord is leading.
Get alone in a quite place, pray and meditate. Read, listen to audiobooks, podcast, etc. to learn and grow.
Forgive so you can move on. Forgiveness is for you not the other person. If you do not forgive, bitterness will eat at you and make you and angry, hard, bitter person. It doesn’t hurt the other person, only you. Being unforgiving is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
Grieve your losses, they may be many. But you need to grieve them to move on and not get stuck. Cry, talk to the Lord, talk to one of two trusted friends. Get the grief out so when you face those who have wounded you in the future, you will be emotionally healthy.
I am a life coach if you need someone to talk to and help you get on track.