Healthy Relationships

Nora O’Malley

To be treated with fairness, Respect, dignity, AND to be free from intimidation, harassment or abuse. Is that too much to ask? It seems be too much to ask. 

If its not controlling parents, in-laws, siblings or friends, then it’s a spouse or significant other.  Telling you what to do, how to think, even What you like or don’t like! You may need time alone to think and rediscover or for the first time, discover who you are and what you like. 

I see red Flags in men and women. He’s lazy, controlling, argumentative, Political, Religious – in a legalistic way, not what scripture actually says, manipulating, unethical, it’s all about them, etc. 

If they can talk for two hours about themselves and never even ask about you – Red Flag! Man or Woman. 

Learn about boundaries, how to set them and how to stick to them. Boundaries are for you not the other person. It doesn’t matter if they like it or if they agree. Make your own boundaries and they are what you need to be safe and comfortable. YOU decide what your comfortable with and what your not comfortable with. No one else! They are YOUR boundaries. 

Yes you will have acquaintances but less good friends and maybe one good friend. But really One close friend who really gets you is all you need. Someone you can talk to and be open with yet feel safe from judging or put downs. 

To be a good friend:

1. Listen more than you talk. God gave you two ears and one mouth so listen twice as much.  

2. Don’t Judge or jump to conclusions. 

3. Always ask permission to speak into someone’s life. Don’t assume you can because your friends. They may not want your input or opinion. Sometimes we just need to talk things out to think them through. IF they say yes or ok then keep it to the point, objective,and centered on God. Not about you and what you want. 

4. Be there when they are truly in need or need to talk on the phone. 

5.  You have to know yourself, who you are and be happy with you before you can be a true friend to someone else. 

Read or listen to books on Audible or Kindle to learn about Boundaries. Listening everyday will help you learn faster and grow faster. 

Patricia Evans book I recommend first “Verbally Abusive Relationships, How to recognize and how to respond”

Dr. Henry Cloud has many books on boundaries.

Patrick Doyle on YouTube Emotional abuse and many others. 


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