If you are blaming others, you are a victim and have a victim mentality. The first thing you must do is accept PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY. You are wasting time and fooling only yourself. The definition of Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results! How many times do you have to “try harder, do better, make excuses for the other person, live in fear” before you wake up and smell REALITY?
Face your fears, make a plan. Your life is a matter of choices. Face it, take responsibility. You make a conscience choice or by default, not making a choice, choosing to stay in the life your in. Either way your making a choice, even no choice is a choice.
Fear keeps us from doing things we should and Fear is at the core of bad decisions. 365 times the Lord says do NOT Fear. One for each day of the year. Yet too much of our lives are rooted in fear. We fear change, that alone keeps us from moving forward.
Decide right here and now that you will make NO decision out of Fear.
That you will not let Fear Keep you stop you from doing things that are need or good to do. That doesn’t mean stupid things like jumping off a bridge.
Leaving a bad situation, dropping negative and bad relationships, and moving forward are good things to do. As the song says Fear is a Liar.
A Victim blames everyone else including God or Satan. That is a slave mentality.
An Overcomer conscientiously decides to face reality, not wishful thinking. Overcomers faces their bad choices and and learns to see others as they are NOT as they want them to be. Overcomers take off their Rose Colored Glasses.
An Overcomer makes up their mind that they will have a life BETTER than ever before. That they will come out ahead not behind. Yes there will be struggles and loses up front but you don’t have to stay there, IF you decide not to stay there and to move forward and upward. Yes, you will cry and grieve your loses, which is needed to move on. If you don’t let it out, you will get stuck and not be able to move on. Grieve what I call the loss of the dream, what should have been, could have been but never was. See people as they are, Not as you want them to be.
Bottom Line…Face your Co-Dependency and Find your true identity and worth in God. Stop looking for approval and Love in people. Stop being a people pleaser and caring so much about what everyone else thinks. As long as everything is good between you and God, as long as you have nothing to apologize for, then Don’t worry about what everyone else thinks or says. Don’t give them power over you by caring. Of course we like people to like us BUT if they don’t that is their issue. Don’t let them make it your problem! Don’t take everything personally. Don’t let them push your buttons. Be like Teflon and don’t let it stick. Let it roll off your back like water. Get the idea?
“Take control of your life” by Jim Richards is the best book I have found to see truth on the matter of Co-dependency. Available on Ultimate Impact.
“Verbally Abusive Relationships, How to Recognize them and How to respond” by Patricia Evans is an eye opener. Listen on Audible or Kindle to learn faster. I listened five times and bought the book to highlight and make notes in.